Ache

Coming to you from Celestive Eve Vivian Fayth Shen

The urge to cut is strong, but I know I will be so disappointed in myself if I give in. I have nothing to gain but new scars, and I know that it's not worth it, but the urge is still there, and like I said it's strong.

I know what a mistake it is to let my sense of self worth get so tied up in another person, how they view or treat me, but I can't seem to stop it from happening. So here I am again, and I'm angry, but mostly at myself.

Nobody asks for this power over me, I just give it to them.

I don't like or care about myself enough, so I have to cling to anyone that somehow forms a high opinion of me, and when that falls apart, I fall apart with it. It's not their fault. It's mine.


But ignoring a friend for days and not telling them why isn't cool.

The Deeper Well

Coming to you from Celestive Eve Vivian Fayth Shen

Right now the loneliness is so thick it's like another entity in the room with me, telling me how worthless I am, how I have nothing to offer, how I will always end up in this same state. Eve would stay "fuck it" and do her own thing, Vivian would find a way to battle the loneliness, Fayth would find a way to believe that this too shall pass.

This is Shen speaking though, so I have little to offer myself in the way of hope.