My cat was sitting on my laptop... she managed to open firefox and do a google search on the letter K.

...I'm scared.

I thought to myself "if you really wanted to die, you'd press harder" so I pressed down harder. It's a dull blade, so it didn't do some great deal of damage. I wanted to see more blood..more shallow cuts. I hated everything, I hated me. It comes and goes, anything will trigger it. Everything triggers it. I'm such a coward, too afraid of life, and too afraid to just end it. I don't even want to tell anyone how I'm feeling. I don't want to talk to anyone about it at all. The cuts weren't deep enough. There wasn't enough blood.

More thoughts from the emo devils in my head

I baptized myself in fear and doubt
Much too long ago
Now when I look back with inevitable regret
I see the moment I got soaked
I sold my soul for a little affection
But failed to bring along protection
To stave off that infection
Not an STD, not HIV
But an evil spirit that's ruined part of me
That evil spirit much stronger than mine
It shrugs with indifference while watching me die
It gave me the bruises that no one can see
That only I can feel
So personal and constant that they can't be real
I thought somehow I could get it all out
All that pain
All that shame
Hating myself and that One Unnamed
But after eons of speaking and spitting and crying it's still the same.

Get her words out

For every lie that you told
For that innocense I felt you stole
For the scolding
and strategic withholding
For the rape
For the scars
For the remains of your unkind heart
For every time I felt compassion
and thought that you had let me in
For every time it all crashed down
and I was back to start again
For your indifference
For all your blame
For all the nights I cursed your name
For all the times you feigned friendship
jus so you wouldn't be alone
For every time I fell for it
and willingly raced from my home
For all the times you ignored me
and for every time you will from now on
For all the reasons I've just said
Hiding
Crying
In my bed