//BEGIN INCESSANT BABBLE// i just spent two hours throwing stuff away for more or less no reason... I was absentmindedly wondering where my pastels were(it just now occurs to me that they're in a drawer on the opposite side of my room)...and somehow I ended up "cleaning" things. Generally I don't clean in the sense that I remove clutter... I usually just kind of throw away soda bottles and tissues and bandaid wrappers and other garbage and move old dishes downstairs.... Really if anyone came in my room they wouldn't really realize I've done anything... in fact since there are more garbage bags in my room now I bet my room looks somehow messier... anyway I decided to trash a bunch of old notebooks and sketchbooks that I never look through...I don't think I trashed any masterpieces of art or literature so I'm fine there... Of course that was just the old notebooks and sketchbooks on my bookshelves... I have boxes of the same in the corner of my room that merely collects dust, and boxes of much much older sketchbooks and notebooks in the hall closet... Maybe someday those will go too...well... most of them... some things I just can't seem to throw away. I have scores of old photos that only bum me out but I can't seem to throw most of them away... oh well... it's a slow process...

argh... I hate when I 'clean' this part of my room... I always pile non-trash on my bed as I work through stuff, which means if I get tired of doing so, which I did...I have to move all the stuff back to wherever it came from first...

...anyway even though feng shui if probably bullshit, I think the state of my room can accurately reflect the state of my mind... so perhaps altering the room can alter my mind?? then again since as I said before nothing has changed in the room... nothing has changed in here either ((points to head)) \\CEASE FIRE\\

I was fairly drunk after the first two beers last night... I ended up drinking nine altogether... It's disgusting how easy being drunk is... how simple it makes things ...